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Friday, 21 April 2017

What got me into motorsport?

You may remember a blog post a while ago of why I like motorsport but I thought I would go a bit (well actually a a lot) more depth into why by explaining how I got into motorsport. I knew what F1 was and a few other motorsport categories like BTCC. I went when I was young to BTCC and I remember someone had a black star wars livery and there was a female driver and I tried so so so hard to find her and get her autograph. Sadly I didn't get it and I don't remember her name but those two memories have always stuck in my mind. My dad and brother watched F1 and my brother was really into it, I use to watch the first lap and that was it or enter the room when it was the middle of the race. It wasn't until 2014 when I was going through a really rough patch of depression and I needed something to focus on and look forward to. It was one of the last races of the season and on that day it crashed into me. I could watch F1 and learn about it and I would have something positive to keep me going.

I remember during the winter break learning what I could about the teams, the tracks and the drivers and who they were driving for. I couldn't wait for Sauber to announce their final driver, I remember that going on over new years as well. There was an evident change in me which was clear for people to see. I had something I could put my heart and soul into. It was an escape from what I was coping with and what I still cope with. However, it filled a void in my heart I didn't know there was. It became a massive part of who I was. Now after all these years, it is who I am. I enjoy writing, always have and when someone suggested I paired that with motorsport, it clicked. All the pieces in the puzzle fell into place in my mind. A motorsport journalist was something I would be reasonably decent at, I'd enjoy writing and I'd enjoy the subject I was writing about. I then spent the next few years putting pressure on myself to get there. Not helping my mental state at all, doing the opposite really. Until about 6 months ago. I left education after sixth form coming up to a year ago now. I looked at uni for journalism and applied but after applying I really got thinking about what would be best for me. I hated education, I wasn't dedicated to that and it took a massive toll on my mental health and I didn't want to put myself through that for another 3 years. Also, I felt it wouldn't suit me and I'd be better off taking another route. After months I made my decision, take a gap year and if I didn't find a good apprenticeship or anything like that then I would go uni. However, I did not get the best grades and my second choice rung up and told me they had places left but I said no. Just because they could not hold a place for me for a year and it wouldn't be fair when I still might change my mind again and not want to go then. So that was it, I was not going university.

I have a job, good friends, I enjoy my blog and I am doing things I wouldn't have had the chance to do some of the things I have been able to do. I had the opportunity with Dare to be different to go to the Autosport offices. I went to the Autosport show in January. Went to BTCC media day and interviewed drivers! And many more. I did doubt my decision but I know it will all pay off and I will get where I want to be in my own time, in my own way. Yes I have days where my depression does get the better of me and I lose motivation and feel horrible but I remember how I feel at a race track and how I've felt when I've done those incredible things.

Motorsport is who I am, it has saved me, it has created me, given me dreams and motivation. Things I had never felt before. I will be eternally grateful for motorsport. I do not ever want to think about where I would be without it in my life. It makes me and keeps me strong. It has given me everything.

I am at home at a race track and/or watching a race. I cannot describe the exact feeling. Motorsport changed my life and I fell in love with it. Not the nicest story about how people get into motorsport but its my story and I am weirdly grateful it happened how it did. Besides, its not about the start, its about what you do and what you make it. And I will make it to where I want to be and the story will continue and I will improve.

Also, I am sorry for the lack of post's recently, been busy and planning a lot of things. Keep your eyes out, there are exciting things in the works for this blog and its content. 



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