I have suffered with anxiety and depression for multiple years now and that is what brought motorsport into my life.
My depression and anxiety has stemmed from my childhood so I believe it has been something I have suffered for more years than I originally thought. I never had many friends, I did not fit in with anyone or anything. Looking back, that made me feel like a pile of trash but I didn’t understand friendships and how people work as much as I do now. I should not have felt bad for being myself. I changed who I was to try and make friends but what I should have done was embrace who I was at the time. Having said that I would not be the person I am today without all the big and small decisions I have made over the years.
I welcomed motorsport into my life just over 4 years ago now and it filled a void in my heart and myself that I didn’t know existed. It gave me hope and motivation. I embraced the sport and every thing that came with it. And when I left sixth form I embraced it even more and became even more myself. I became more confident and I have since made wonderful friends, some I talk to every day, some I do not. Either way I appreciate all of them and every one I have met through it and people for twitter on example I would love to be friends with.
Although my mental illness is something I would never wish on anyone it has completely changed my life and made me a better person. I am more confident so I am willing to put myself out there and do exciting things and talk to new people. Some times the worst that can happen is your life just stays the same and you can say you tried instead of saying ‘what if’.
Life is way too short to be defined by a mental illness. Find something you enjoy and embrace it and who you are. Take every opportunity that is given to you. Do not live with regrets, live for the future because tomorrow is another day full off possibilities and sometimes a decision that can seem insignificant at the time could turn out to be one of the biggest decisions you make.